Why not to get drunk
by Draco the Lizard
Summary: Explosions, people getting hurt not too badly Tweety boxers, complaints about school and misunderstandings. People who want to read about Vegeta being miserable, come here! [Oneshot, expect no sequel]


"Why getting drunk isn't good. Well, sometimes anyway." (Yes,I know it's a crappy title, but I suck at titles.)  
  
Violence: Well, there's some explosions, but no-one gets really hurt.  
Language: Just some occasional insults. Nothing to worry about.  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. Neither are their actions, thoughts and clothes. Except for Usana  
She's sorta created by me, but I don't really care about her.   
  
Summary: Some explosions, some people get hurt, others don't, it involves Tweety Boxer's, complaints about   
things they should teach at school, but don't. And some misunderstandings are being solved. Or not.   
Anyway, on with the story.  
  
Vegeta stared at the crack in the ceiling. It annoyed him, like so many things in life. There wasn't a crack in the ceiling   
at home. Home. He missed it. He missed Bulma and the kids, even though they annoyed him sometimes as well. Home.   
On the other hand, it wasn't there anymore, since he blew it up by accident. And that was the reason why he was here,   
staring at some stupid ceiling, instead of doing something actually important. Bulma had kicked him out of the house, well,   
the remains of the house, technically. She was pretty upset about it. He didn't understand why. It wasn't the first time he   
blew something up. How was he to know you shouldn't put the cleaning stuff in the microwave? It didn't say on the bottle   
that you couldn't put in the microwave. He had said the same thing to Bulma. She had said that it didn't say that you   
should put it in a microwave. It didn't really matter. She kicked him out, and he couldn't come back unless he had read   
and understood all the manuals about the technical equipment she had given him. He had taken one look at one of the manuals   
and decided that only a complete idiot could understand it. That's why he went to Master Roshi's. After explaining what   
happened, Master Roshi said Vegeta could stay for a while. Roshi didn't understand the manuals either, but he said that   
everything would turn out fine. He sighed. He had been here for three days and Bulma hadn't even called, or tried to found   
out where he was. Well, if she didn't care about him, he might as well check on her, see if she was alright. Of course, he   
couldn't let her know that he was checking. She'd probably yell at him because he wasn't reading the manuals. "Roshi, I'm   
going away for a while. I'll be back in a couple of hours." No reply. Strange, the old man usually warned him not   
to blow up things. He looked into the living room. No wonder the old man hadn't heared him, he and the pig were busy   
drooling all over the TV. He tried a different approach. "Say, isn't that Marron there on the beach?"   
Roshi's and Oolong's head shot up at the word 'Marron' and rushed towards the beach. The turtle also followed, a bit   
slower. "Marron! Where are you? Where..." Roshi saw Vegeta smirking. "Oh, it was just a joke eh? Think it's funny to   
get me all excited? I could've gotten a heart attack you know!" The old man shouted. "Relax, I was only trying to get   
your attention. I'm leaving for a while, I'll be back in a few hours." Roshi calmed down. "Oolong! Marron isn't there.   
Vegeta was just trying to be funny." Oolong looked very dissapointed, but cheered up when he got back to the TV. "So,   
leaving for a while, eh? Fine by me, just don't blow up other people's houses. And if it's not too much trouble, pick   
up some things for me. We need turtle food. Turtle's almost finished the last bag. Got that? Good." Roshi turned and  
went back to the TV. Vegeta looked at the drooling duo for a while. He had been here for three days, and still didn't   
understand what was so fascinating about woman doing exercises.   
  
He didn't really knew where Bulma could be,   
so he just went to the remainings of the house first. It still looked as if a bomb exploded. In a way, that was true,   
so it wasn't very surprising. He walked into the ruins and found a note. "Vegeta, you'd better be trying   
to understand those manuals, or else not bother contacting me! If you have finished the manuals, I'm at my   
parents house. Signed Bulma." So, she went back to her mum and dad. She probably took the kids as well.   
He put the note back and went to the Briefs' Residence. He hid in a tree for some time, but nothing was going on.   
"Damn it! Why couldn't she just stay where she said she was?" He remembered Roshi's order to get some turtle food.   
Maybe she'd be back when he finished that.   
  
"Let's see, cat food, dog food, fish food, rabbit food. There's has to be turtle food around somewhere."   
He looked around the supermarket, not seeing anything that looked even slightly like turtle food. He did see   
something else that looked familiar. Over by the bread section was Yamcha, or at least someone that looked very   
much like him. That meant that weird floating blue cat was around as well. But it wasn't Puar that showed up. Vegeta   
couldn't believe it. The hair, the clothes. It couldn't be. "Bulma? It can't, it's impossible. She wouldn't. Not him."   
He mumbled in disbelief. He forgot the turtlefood and went back to Roshi's place.  
  
"Wait a sec, start over. So you went to the Briefs' House, and after that the supermarket, where you think you saw Bulma   
and Yamcha together." Roshi was surprised when Vegeta had blown up the door and almost kicked the TV in the wall. It was   
only because Roshi had succesfully calmed him down, that the TV was still working. He tried to understand what Vegeta had   
been telling, but so far he had gotten bits and pieces. "I didn't THINK I saw them! I KNOW I saw them! You think I couldn't   
recognize Bulma?" The Saiyan jumped from the chair Roshi had put him on and grabbed Roshi by his shirt. "Well, I'd just   
like to know if you were sure. And maybe it wasn't even Yamcha." Vegeta sat down. "I'd recognize that idiot from a thousand   
miles." Oolong walked over to the table. "Maybe they just met each other in the supermarket. It's not weird if they just   
talked, you know, 'Fancy meeting you here, how are you?' You know. That stuff."  
"Listen you idiotic pig! I know what I saw! They looked rather cozy together if you catch my drift. They were together,   
I just know it. I should've seen this coming. You know, she even wanted to name Trunks Yamcha first, but I talked her out   
of it. And after a while she insisted I cut my hair. You know what hairstyle she suggested? Like Yamcha. How could I have   
been so stupid, so foolish, so ignorant, so, so,"   
"So idiotic?" Oolong suggested. "Shut up! I didn't ask for your opinion!" For a while Vegeta stared angrily at Oolong.   
Then he just burst out in crying. "I-I can't believe it. She actually li-likes that no good idiot over me." He cried.  
"Now, there, there." Roshi wasn't really sure what to do. He just patted Vegeta on the back.   
"It's not the end of the world, now is it? It could have been worse." Vegeta looked up, his eyes filled with tears.   
"Ho-How?"   
"Well, it could have been Future Trunks. Or Piccolo. Or Goku." It didn't seem to cheer Vegeta up. Instead, it made his   
wails of sadness even louder. "Uhm, Roshi, can't we do something to make him shut up?" Whispered Oolong to the master.  
"Yes, he's annoying me, and he didn't even bring my food." Complained Turtle.  
"Food?! My entire life just got ruined, and you dare to complain about your food!" the heartbroken prince cried.  
"Well, I'm sure there's some way to fix this. Maybe it was just an innocent encounter like Oolong said."   
Roshi tried to maintain the peace. Vegeta just mumbled some things they couldn't understand and started crying again.   
"You know what, I'll get you a drink and then me and Oolong'll go and see Bulma about this, okay?" Vegeta nodded weakly   
and accepted the drink. "If you want some more, it's in the fridge. And try not to blow it up."  
Roshi left the kitchen and went back to the living room. "What did you give him? Sleeping Potion?" Oolong asked hopefully.   
Roshi grinned. "No, even better. Beer. According to Dende, they never had any alcohol on planet Vegeta.   
I don't think he ever had any here, so it's pretty much his first time. After a few beers he'll be so drunk,   
he can't even blow things up!" Oolong and Turtle grinned as well. "Are we really going to Bulma?" asked Turtle.   
"Of course not! Anyway, he won't notice, he's too busy trying to figure out why he was so upset in the first place."  
  
After a few hours.  
  
"Master Roshi, PLEASE make him shut up! I'd rather have him crying than singing!" Oolong had covered his ears,   
but it didn't help. "I can't help it! I didn't know the beer would affect him in this way!" Roshi had also tried   
to cover his ears. "What, you didn't expect him to get drunk?! You KNOW drunk people sing stupid songs!" Oolong hid under   
the couches pillow, to see if it wasn't as noisy down there. It didn't help. Roshi pulled him out. "Well, I didn't expect   
him to sing! I didn't know that he even knew songs! God knows where he learned them!" It wasn't a big surprise that Oolong   
and Roshi desperately tried to cover their ears. After a few beers, Vegeta stopped crying. After some more beers, he just   
started laughing without reason. After even more beers, he started singing. And didn't stop. "Oooohaaw, I kneeew a   
farmer and I kneeew hiiim welll. And he had this thingy, and some other thingy and a animinimal. Or something. Anyway,   
a hedgehooog cannot be bothered. Falderilalaaaa!"  
"Well, you have to say, it's better then hearing him perform O Sole Mio with only knowing the first line"   
said Turtle. Oolong looked up. "Wait, he stopped singing. Maybe he went unconscious." Roshi and Turtle looked   
hopeful. But, no such thing, Vegeta was still conscious and stumbled in the living room. "I'll bet that I can uhm,   
I knew it back there, uhm, yes, I bet I can drink more beers than you before I get uinconscious."  
Roshi looked up in disbelief. "You're serious? How much did you have anyway?"  
Vegeta started counting his fingers. "Well, after 6 I lost track of numbers, so I can't really say. But I can say that   
I can drink all 9 of you under the table!" He looked rather smug after saying that. "There's only three of us. And Turtle   
doesn't even like beer." Replyed Oolong.   
Vegeta stared at the turtle. Well, he tried anyway. "Nonsens, I can count. There's nine of you here. But if that chicken   
Turtle doesn't want to play, it's his loss anyway. Let the game begin!" Vegeta held out one the beer bottles in triumph,   
and let out a huge burp. "So, wussies, up for a challenge? Or are you afraid to lose?" Roshi and Oolong accepted, and a   
few, well, not so few, beers later, the threesome was pretty drunk. In the past hour, Oolong had tried to eat the table,   
which resulted in some broken teeth and a few bloodstains on the floor. Roshi and Vegeta had burst out in a couple of   
songs, which was really confusing since they both sung different songs without knowing the lyrics. "So, who won?" mumbled   
Roshi. "Uh, Dunnow. Anyone unconscious yet?" Vegeta looked around. "Nope, no-one."   
"Damn. Maybe you can knock out Oolong. That's one opponent less." Said Roshi, while slowly falling off his chair.   
Vegeta thought about this and after concluding that it was the most brilliant idea he had ever heard, he knocked out   
Oolong. The pig fell of the chair and fell asleep on the floor. Meanwhile, Roshi had gotten back on the chair.   
"Do you know why we even started this?" he wondered. Vegeta looked confused. "Well, I challenged you to this.   
And you accepted. Clear as, as, something very clear." Roshi nodded. "Yes, that's right, but why did you start   
drinking in the first place." "Well, you said that since I was upset about Bulma being with Yamcha and stuff   
you'd get me a drink. Then you said there were more in the fridge. You put this in front of me, it's all your fault."   
Vegeta pointed at the fridge. "Look, I didn't even blow it up." Then his drunk brain caught up with what he just said.   
"Bulma and Yamcha! I forgot all about it. I'm gonna kill him!" He turned SuperSaiyan and flew through the roof,   
very angry and very drunk. Roshi looked up at the stars. "One of these days I should teach him how to use a door.   
Oh well, looks like everything's gonna be fine. Hey Oolong, want another beer?"   
  
Vegeta, still drunk, didn't really know where to go, so he just went for the Briefs' residence. He didn't really have a   
plan. He never needed one, anyway. Fighting wasn't that difficult. It always was 'Kill the enemy before he kills you.'   
And 'Stay alive.' Or 'When in danger, blow up something.' Why didn't they teach how to handle situations like this at   
school? They went on and on about calculating angles and remembering all past kings (Which wasn't that hard, since   
they were all named Vegeta) but they never thaught you anything useful, like how to act when some bastard is stealing   
away the one you love. "Wait a sec, that's it. I have to show Bulma how much I love her. She can't resist me, I'm the   
Royal Prince of all Saiyans!" Ignoring the fact that technically there were only two Saiyans left and Kakarot didn't   
really respect him as his royalty, he went faster.   
  
He landed on the grass. "Right," he thought. "Show her how much you love her." How the hell did you do that?   
Another thing they didn't teach you at school. He just had to improvise.  
After much thinking he decided just to yell it out. "Bulma, I ****ing love you!"   
No response.  
"Damn, she probably didn't hear me. Let's try it again then." He yelled again, harder this time.   
This time there was response. Someone stepped onto the balcony. "Listen you idiot! Could you shut up!  
Some people are trying to sleep!" Vegeta was stunned. That wasn't Bulma, it was, he knew that voice, it was Yamcha. "What   
the hell are you doing there, you bastard!" Vegeta yelled at the figure above. "Well, I'm uh, well, it's none of your   
business! Who are you anyway, shouting in the middle of the night." Yamcha demanded.  
Vegeta became furious. First, that puny human took away Bulma, and if that wasn't bad enough, he insisted on knowing who   
he was. "Who I am? Well, you idiotic puny moron, if you're so interested in sticking your nose in other people's business,   
I'm your worst nightmare!" He was quite proud of that sentence. It usually scared people. It also scared Yamcha. "Wha-What?   
You mean you're a closet filled with dirty, living socks who want to eat me?!" Vegeta was, once again, stunned.   
"Of course not! Do I look like a closet filled with socks? No, I look like someone who is about to blow up your fricking   
house!"  
"This isn't my house!" yelled Yamcha, sounding desperate. Someone else joined him on the balcony. "Yamchie, who is the ugly   
man shouting to blow up our house?" It was a woman, no doubt. She had blueish hair and looked like Bulma. "Well, he says   
he's my worst nightmare, but he doesn't even look like a closet." Yamcha replyed.  
"Ugly man?! UGLY MAN?! That's it! I'm gonna blow both of you into the next dimension!"  
Vegeta prepared one of his Gallic Guns and fired. Of course, being very, very drunk, he missed the house by miles.   
"Wait a sec, 'next dimension'. I only know one man who would say that. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." Yamcha turned   
pale. "Yamchie, is there something wrong? You look like you saw a ghost." The girl was worried. "Hehe, nothing wrong Usana,   
it's just that well, Vegeta is about to blow the both of us in oblivion." Yamcha sank down on the floor. Usana sat by him.   
"Why would he want to do that?" Yamcha shook his head. "I don't know. Why don't you ask him yourself." Usana got up again.   
"Good idea. He, mister, Why do you wanna blow both of us in oblivion?"  
Vegeta was preparing another Gallic Gun. "Well, I think that's pretty obvious! Hey, Yamcha, say 'hi' to King Kai for me if   
you see him, okay?" and he shot. The house exploded. "Ah, that'll teach them to mess around with me." He turned to fly away,   
but instead of the grass he expected, he flew into a tree. "Auwie, that tree wasn't here this afternoon." He looked around.   
"And neither was that car. Or those bushes. That's odd." He got up and wanted to take off, but something small and blue   
stopped him. "Stop right there! What have you done to my Yamcha?" it demanded. Vegeta frowned. "Pwer, isn't it? Well, I   
blew that no-good friend of you into the next dimension! And his 'girlfriend' as well. That'll teach them."  
"It's Puar. And-and, you killed Yamcha?" The creature started crying. "Why-why? He-he's really nice, and so is Usa-sana   
and they're really nice." The creature was really upset.  
"Usana? You mean that girl of his? No, that's Bulma." He told the flying cat. The cat stopped crying. "Bulma? Why would   
she be here? This is Yamcha's house, and I know what Bulma looks like. Unlike some people here." The cat sniffed. "Oh yeah?   
Well I can tell the difference between Bulma and some other girl!" he yelled. "Oh yeah?" "Yeah!" "Well, there's only one   
way to solve this." the cat said. "You're right! Let's have drinking contest. The first one to pass out is a liar."   
"Of course not! We're going to check for survivors!"   
"Oh yeah, we could do that." Said Vegeta, in a way that said that his idea was much better.  
  
Both of them searched the ruins for proof of life. Puar was about to give up when she discovered Usana. "He Vegeta! Here's   
your proof! Does she look anything like Bulma?" Puar shouted. Vegeta came closer. He examined the unconscious woman   
closely. "Well, I guess not." He said eventually. "You guess not?! YOU GUESS NOT?! You practically killed them, and you   
just GUESS?! What kind of a person are you?!" Puar shouted at the not-caring Saiyan. "Well, I'm the person who's going back   
to Roshi's for some more beer. Bye then." And he took off. Puar shouted some other things as he flew away, but went back to   
take care off Usana and Yamcha. Usana woke up, sorta confused and very hurt. Her sight was a bit blurry. She saw something   
blue and small moving around. She thought it was that stupid idiot that blew up the house, so she grabbed a stick and hit   
the being. After a while she noticed it was Puar, so she stopped hitting the poor cat and hugged it. Then they went to   
search for Yamcha. Unfortunately, he was bruised and hurt bad. Still, he survived.   
  
"Whello , uhm, thingy! Can't remember your name, but welcome back. So, what happened?"  
Roshi, still drunk and happy invited Vegeta to sit down. He opened a beer and drank some.   
"Well, it turned out I had the wrong house, and it wasn't even Bulma. Some chick named uh, Usana, or something. That   
flying catthing got pretty upset when I blew up the house, but they were alive. Well, the girl was anyway, and I don't   
really care about 'Yamchie'. He concluded his story. Roshi frowned "Yamchie?" Vegeta grinned. "Yeah, that's what she   
called him. Is that embarrasing or what?" Roshi grinned as well. "Very, very embarrasing. Would be a shame if anyone else   
would found out." "Yeah, that would be a huge shame."   
"So" said Roshi. "Are you gonna call the newspaper, or shall I?"   
Vegeta stood up. "You can do whatever you want, old man, I'm going to bed." Vegeta stumbled back to his bedroom, tripping   
over the sleeping Oolong. "Damn you! Can't you even get out off my way!" When Oolong didn't move, Vegeta kicked him back   
into the living room and stumbled until he found the right door.  
  
Next morning.   
  
*Beep *, *Beep * went the phone, in a very annoying way. Especially if you're woken up by it. Like Vegeta. Who has   
just experieced being drunk for the first time, thus suffering from a HUGE hang-over. "Urgh, don't get the cup, it'll   
bite yer head off." He mumbled in his sleep.  
*Beep *, *Beep *, the phone went again. "Urgh, quit the beeping already, it won't hurt." Who knows what he was dreaming   
about as the phone went again, even harder and more annoying this time. He woke up, grabbed his head and wished that   
someone would kill him. And that the beeping stopped. He slowly realized that it was the phone beeping and decided to   
answer it. He dragged himelf towards and picked it up. Unfortunately, Oolong was in the way, so Vegeta tripped, again.   
"Hello? Anyone there? I know someone's in there, phones don't get picked up by themselves! I can hear someone breathing   
in there." Vegeta, trying to get up, recognized the sound of Bulma's slightly annoyed voice. It wouldn't be long before   
she'd used her 'more annoyed' voice, and after that her 'very, very annoyed' voice. He'd better say something. "Well, er,   
hey Bulma, long time no seeing, well, still no seeing since I'm on the floor, but I'm trying to get up, if that helps."   
He said. "On the floor? What the hell are you doing lying around on the floor?" she asked. "Ah well, I know it sounds weird,   
but I kinda tripped over Oolong. He was sleeping in front of the phone you see, and I already answered it, but then I   
tripped. That explains it." He didn't even bother getting up. He was quite comfortable on the floor. And it seemed his   
headache wasn't as bad if he lay down. "THAT EXPLAINS IT?! You say Oolong's on the floor, and you tripped over him and that   
explains everything?! You better get up right now, or else I'm sending more manuals!" Bulma was getting rather pissed. She   
heard from ChiChi what happened to Yamcha's house and called Usana this morning. Usana didn't really know what happened,   
but she knew that Vegeta was responsible for it. Puar wasn't very helpful either. She just whined about how hurt Yamcha   
was. Eventually, Bulma had just hung up without saying goodbye.  
After some more calls she found out that Vegeta was staying at Master Roshi's place and decided to call. She wanted to  
yell at Vegeta for blowing up her friend's house without a good reason. But it wasn't any fun if she couldn't see him.   
"Didn't you hear me? I told you to get up!" she yelled. Vegeta's headache was getting worse from the shouting. It felt   
like a train had run over it. "Ouch. Damn it woman, how am I supposed to get up if you keep yelling at me!" he yelled at   
the screen. "Ouch. Better not yell too hard myself." He mumbled to himself. "Well, I can yell as much and hard as I want.   
I didn't trip over some sleeping pig. Why is Oolong sleeping on the floor anyway?" she asked, softer now. "That's better."   
He said to himself. "Well, it's a long story, but it comes down to this. Oolong got drunk last night." Bulma wasn't   
satisfied with just that. "Oolong got drunk. That can't be, I mean, Roshi and you were there, didn't you tell him to stop?"   
"Ah well, that's part of the problem. You see, I was already drunk by the time Oolong and Roshi started drinking.   
I challenged them to a drinking contest, to see who'd get unconscious first. I don't know who won, but it wasn't Oolong,   
'cause I knocked him out. It was Roshi's idea, before you start yelling at me for that." He explained.   
"You got drunk. You got drunk. YOU GOT DRUNK! How could that happen? You don't even know what alcohol is!" Bulma yelled.   
"Well, if you just let me finish, you'll see it wasn't even my idea. You see, Roshi gave   
me the first beer, and said there was more in the fridge. 'S all his fault, so if you want to yell at someone, he deserves   
it." Vegeta thought that was enough explanation for Bulma, but it wasn't. "What the hell happened? I demand more details!"   
she shouted. "Well, first I got drunk, 'cause Roshi gave me a beer. Then I challenged them to a drinking contest." He said,  
Why did Roshi gave you the beer? He should know you wouldn't respond well to it. And I'll yell at him when I'm done yelling   
at you. And when are you getting up anyway?"  
Not anytime soon, Vegeta thought to himself. And that's a good question. Why did Roshi gave him the beer in the first   
place? "Well, Bulma to be honest, I have no-" He stopped. He remembered what happened yesterday. The note, the supermarket,   
the turtlefood. Seeing Yamcha with Bulma, who wasn't Bulma but some other girl that just looked like Bulma.   
"It's a long story." He just said, not willing to share what happened yesterday.   
Bulma tapped her fingers impatiently. This wasn't going the way she planned. "Well, I've got all day. So tell me. And then   
you also explain why you blew Yamcha's house while you're at it." Vegeta remembered that as well. So it was Yamcha's house.   
Well, he'd probably done the man a favor. It looked like crap. And there was the blue floating cat. He remembered talking   
to it. And flying into the tree. He looked at the ceiling. Well, the sky technically, since there was a big hole where the   
ceiling should have been. "Did I do that?" he said. "Do what?" asked Bulma, waiting for an answer. "Oh er, nothing. Well,   
you wouldn't be very interested in the long story. It's very boring. It's about me going to the supermarket and I couldn't   
find the turtlefood. So I went home and er, Roshi gave me a beer. That's it, yeah." Vegeta smiled to himself. That was a   
reasonable explanation without the embarrasing details. Oolong started to wake up. "Heya Bulma, finally calling then? I   
thought you were with Yamcha. Well, at least Vege- urghl" Vegeta knocked him out before Oolong could reveal more secrets.   
Bulma wasn't sure what was going on there, but she definately wanted to know. Why would Oolong think I was with Yamcha? I   
gave up on him a long time ago. Everyone knows that, she thought to herself. Vegeurghl? Why would...she grinned to herself.   
So that's what happened. Vegeta thought she and Yamcha were back together, and that's why he blew up Yamcha's house.   
But why would he think that? She hadn't seen Yamcha in days. But, wait a sec. From a distance, Usana did look like her.   
That would be an explanation. He probably saw Usana and Yamcha somewhere, thought Usana was her and went blond. "So, why   
would Oolong think I was with Yamcha? He doesn't go out to much. Perhaps someone told him? Someone who went to the   
supermarket and couldn't find the turtlefood? Well, am I coming close, Mr. Let's-all-get-drunk-without-a-good-reason?"   
she taunted. Vegeta went a little red. He thanked god she couldn't see him. He realized what she just said. He jumped   
up in anger. "Get drunk without a good reason? I had a damn good reason! I-I er," He couldn't tell her why he was so   
upset. Then she'd tease him about it for the rest of her life. "I couldn't find the turtlefood. That can be very   
frustrating." He concluded, and stood in, what he hoped was, a truthtelling pose. Bulma was trying not to laugh.   
"Sure Vegeta, not being able to find the turtlefood can be very frustrating. Just about as frustrating as wearing one of   
Roshi's Tweety bird boxers?" Then she couldn't help. She burst out in laughter. Vegeta looked down. The yellow bird stared   
right back to him 'I twawt I taw a putty cat'. "Damn. I knew I should've picked Tazmanian Devil. That had some dignity."   
he thought, while turning red. Not knowing a dignified way to deal with situations like this (Yet another thing they didn't   
teach at school) he dove under the desk the screen stood on, so she couldn't see him. "Well, at least now I know what to   
get for your birthday. I think I saw one at the mall the other day. Do you want one with Bugs Bunny as well?" She laughed.   
Vegeta turned even redder. Of course. This could be even worse. "Shut up! This isn't funny you know! Ouch, my head." This   
only caused her to laugh harder. "Well, the headache is your own fault. After all, you drank too much." Vegeta looked   
surprised. "It's the result of being drunk? I thought the mother of all meteors crashed on my head. That explains a few   
things." He answered. Bulma stopped laughing. "Talking about explaining things and crashes, you still have some things to   
explain. You better start, or else you'll really get those Tweety boxers for your birthday. And some more manuals."   
She noticed the pile of untouched manuals in Roshi's living room. "You haven't even looked at them, have you? I should have   
known!" she got angry again. "I did look at them. I even read one, and then I concluded that it must've been written by a   
complete idiot. So I went to Master Roshi. Maybe I should've gone to Kakarot. Maybe he understands them. Master Roshi   
didn't understand them anyway." He defended himself. It didn't really help. "What?! Written by a complete moron?! I wrote   
them, you lunatic! How dare you say such things! That's it, I'm coming over and I'll drag the truth out of you personally!"   
she hung up and Vegeta stared at the empty screen. Damn, now he'd really done it. He'd better put some clothes on, or else  
she'd burst out in more laughter. He decided to wake up Master Roshi, Turtle and Oolong as well. They deserved to be   
yelled at just as much as he did.   
  
Bulma arrives.  
  
"Oh my god, oh my god, there she is. Roshi, Vegeta, we've got to think fast."said Oolong, when he saw the small plane   
land. Roshi looked worried as well. "Well, that's us knackered then innit?" Oolong tried to hide under the couch, but   
Vegeta pulled him out. "You'd better not try to hide, little piggy. It's partially your fault. You had to open your big   
mouth to Bulma." Oolong tried to get out the grip. After some struggling, he succeeded. "Well, I'm not the one who blew   
up Yamcha's house in the first place." He said. "One thing at a time, let's worry about Bulma's about to kill us first."   
Said Roshi, and with that, Bulma came in. "I would've knocked, but the door disappeared. It looks like someone blew it up.   
I of course have no idea who did it, but I'm guessing it was someone who's sure to get Tweety boxers for his birthday!"   
She stood there, arms crossed and very angry. Roshi looked rather confused, he didn't get the whole Tweety-thing. Neither   
did Oolong. Turtle silently crept away towards the door. And Vegeta was slightly insulted, because Bulma stole his pose.   
"Wait a minute, that's supposed to be my pose." He said. Bulma smiled. "I know, but I always wanted to try it out for   
myself." Roshi nodded. "That's a good idea, next time I'll try it." Vegeta couldn't believe it. They were actually trying   
to steal his pose. "Oh, why don't you guys just think of your own poses okay?" Roshi didn't quite agree. "You should be   
flattered that people wanna try out your pose." "That's right," Bulma added. "Don't be so greedy!" Vegeta still couldn't   
believe it. "What? I worked ages on that pose. The arrogant look, the selfconfidence. And besides, your feet are all wrong   
anyway." He answered. Bulma looked down her crossed arms to her feet. "What's wrong with it? It looks okay to me."   
"Well, it's pretty obvious you haven't spent years and years perfectioning that pose or else you would've known. It's just   
the total picture, you see. You just haven't got the right, well, arrogance in your eyes. The smug look, the   
I'm-way-better-then-you-and-I'm-gonna-squish-you-like-a-little-bug-thing. You just haven't got it." He turned to Roshi,   
who was also trying out his pose. "And neither do you. That pose should not be done by old man in Hawaiian shirts. You   
look like some tropical flower." Roshi unposed. "Well, at least you won't see me wearing pink blouses." Vegeta grabbed   
the man by his collar. "Who told you that?!" He hissed. Bulma smiled, and looked innocent. Too innocent. "You told him?!   
But why?"  
Bulma shrugged. "I don't know. I thought it was funny. I have some pictures as well."  
"Pictures?! Where?! I demand to know right now!" he yelled. Bulma wasn't impressed.  
"Well, I'd like to show them to you but you blew them up! Just like you blew up our house by putting cleaning stuff in   
the microwave!" she yelled back. Roshi and Oolong backed out of the kitchen and slammed the door shut. "Where's Turtle?"   
whispered Oolong. "Let him worry about himself. We're safe, and that's all that matters." Roshi said relieved. "Maybe we   
should offer Bulma a beer." Roshi hit Oolong. "Of course not! That's what got us into this mess in the first place!"   
  
Meanwhile, in the kitchen  
  
"And talking about blowing things up, I'd like to know right now why you did it. Or should I just give you some beers?"   
Bulma suggested. Vegeta looked surprised. "Well, sure. I'll take a beer."   
"Wrong answer!" yelled Bulma, while she hit him on the head with a trashcan.  
"Ouch! That really hurts you know." He whined. "Oh yeah? No what else hurts? Having your house falling on your head because   
some pyscho blows it up!" She put back the trashcan.  
"Oh, so now I'm not just greedy, but I'm also a psycho! Maybe you should've thought about that before we had Trunks! Then I   
wouldn't have blown up Yamcha's house in the first place, because there was nothing to be jea-Well. It just wouldn't have   
happened. That's all I'm sayin'." He went back to his usual crossed-arm arrogant pose. Bulma didn't know what to say for a   
minute. They stared at eachother. "Right. That didn't really matter anyway. Just tell me why you decided to blow up Yamcha's   
house. That's all I'm asking." She yelled after a while.  
"What? Again? I told you, I was drunk! I was frustrated! I was crazy with jealouzy! What do you want to hear anyway? That I   
went to the stupid supermarket to get some fricking turtlefood and I couldn't find it?" he yelled back. "Well, I-"  
Bulma started. But Vegeta wouldn't stop. "Shut up woman, this is what you wanted to hear, so you'll bloody well listen   
to it. I saw Yamcha. I saw you. Well, I thought I saw you. It turned out to be some girl. Usama, or something." "Usana,"   
she corrected. "That's not the point! The point is, I was really upset about thinking I saw you and Yamcha, Roshi didn't   
know what to do, so he gave me beer. That evening, I remembered what I saw, got mad, turned SuperSaiyan and flew through   
the roof. That explains the big hole in the ceiling. So, mad, drunk and SuperSaiyan I went your parents' house. But I was   
drunk, so I ended up at Yamcha's place. I yelled, urm, some things, not important what I yelled. Yamcha yelled some stuff.   
That Usana girl also got out, and I thought it was you. I got really, really mad and I blew the house up. Then I flew into   
some tree, -and, don't dare to laugh- and stumbled into Puar. She convinced that Usana wasn't you. We went back to the   
ruins and Puar prooved me wrong. That what you wanna hear? That I went berserk because I thought you were cheating on me?   
That I'd blew up other people's houses for you? That I actually cried because of the thought of you and some other guy? It   
that what you want to hear?" he yelled, forgetting that he didn't want her to know the truth. "Yes. That's exactly what I   
wanted to hear."she said calmly. "Yeah?" Vegeta asked, catching his breath. "Yeah." Bulma replyed. "Fine." "Fine." "So,   
everythings okay then?" "Guess so." "So, you're not going to get me Tweety boxers for my birthday?" "Only if you want me   
to." "Don't bother. Shall we go home then?" "Yes, you have lots of repairing work to do." "What? Repairing?" "Yes, a   
wrecked house doesn't just repair itself you know. And we could use an extra room." "What? But me, why me?" "'Cause you   
blew it up in the first place." "Great." "At least it'll give you something to do." "That's true. What about the manuals?"   
"Never mind. Let's go, the earlier you start, the sooner it's finished." And they took off, leaving Master Roshi,   
Oolong and Turtle behind with a bunch of manuals.  
  
Well, thassit, all done! Complaints and comments, to grim_reaper613@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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